The holidays make up some of the most special times in our lives, but for parents who are getting divorced or have recently divorced, they can be stressful. Parents must create and stick to a visitation schedule that divides the children’s time between households and extended families.

Parents will sometimes try to cope with the difficulty of the changes in scheduling by overcompensating with lavish gifts, free schedules, and other indulgences. But this is not necessarily good for children, and it does not make them love their parents more than they did before. Navigating the holidays after divorce is a unique challenge, but for parents committed to their children’s well being, it is entirely possible to do so. Here are some tips to help.

Tips for Navigating Holidays During and After Divorce

• Avoid competing with your ex - Children can get caught in the middle of parents trying to one-up each other with great gifts and extra fun plans. But children all over the world have meaningful holidays without getting the very best that the toy store has to offer. Time together is often the thing children crave from their parents, and giving that gift is free.
• Take advantage of time off - If your children are visiting the other side of the family during the holidays, do not restrict yourself to staying in your sweatpants in bed (unless rest is what you need!). Instead, take this opportunity to pamper yourself, reconnect with old friends, and perhaps travel somewhere new.
• Create new memories - Sometimes parents will try to maintain the traditions they held during their marriage, but that can make parents and children both feel sad. Look for opportunities to create new traditions. Some families try to take the focus off of themselves by looking for a way to volunteer and give to others. When done mindfully, creating traditions can set an example of how to move through challenging circumstances in a healthy way.
• Avoid idealizing through movies and magazines - Entertainment is good for just that: Entertaining us. But if you draw upon TV, magazines, and social media users to set the standard of what your holidays need to look like, you may end up feeling even more disappointed. Rather than comparing yourself to a “perfect” scenario, remember that your family’s circumstances are the best guide to what is perfect for you.

Work with a Plano, TX Child Custody Lawyer

If you are getting divorced and struggling to understand the implications this may have for you and your children during the holidays, we may be able to help. Navigating the holidays after your divorce can be made much easier with a great parenting plan along with the support of an experienced Collin County divorce attorney with the Law Office of Brian Bagley. Call our offices today at 972-422-2424 to schedule a free initial consultation and find out more about what we can do for you.

Divorce can be a source of great personal distress. In addition to ending what is often a long and complicated relationship, divorce also shifts a couple’s finances in ways that can be difficult to understand and account for. It is very important to prepare financially for divorce so you can continue saving and planning for life after your divorce is finalized. 

Create a Budget

If you have never created and committed to a budget, now is the time to start. To prepare yourself financially for divorce, you need to understand how you are handling your money right now. Look through bank accounts and credit card statements to find out where you spend money and where you could cut back. 

In addition to accounting for current expenses, it is wise to try to anticipate future expenses. Divorce causes one family to separate into two different households, which can be substantially more expensive. Child support and spousal maintenance can place a significant burden on your finances, and it is important to plan for these changes. The more money you can save in the months leading up to a divorce, the better position you will be in. 

In addition to the emotional stress of ending a relationship, many Texas couples facing divorce confront the additional challenge of figuring out how to pay for divorce. Divorce is notoriously expensive at times, and couples who think their divorce should be simple and straightforward may wonder if they can do it without hiring an attorney. 

Although there is software available online that guides couples through a “do-it-yourself” divorce, these programs are one-size-fits-all solutions that may neglect crucial issues. Before using these services or deciding to get divorced without any help at all couples should speak with an attorney to ensure that such a strategy is appropriate for their situation. 

Am I Legally Required to Hire a Divorce Attorney? 

Individuals are not legally required to have a divorce attorney, although if your spouse has already hired an attorney it is almost certainly a good idea for you to do so as well. You will be at a significant disadvantage in divorce proceedings if your spouse has legal counsel and you do not. Individuals without attorneys are at risk of agreeing to fundamentally unfair divorce decrees because they do not know their rights. 

Ending a marriage is always a difficult choice, but spouses face another hard decision once the choice has been made: How to get it done. There are several ways to get divorced. Some methods, such as mediation and collaborative divorce, contribute to a more peaceful and productive tone than others. However, depending on the facts of your case, collaborative divorce may not be right for you. Here are some facts about how collaborative divorce works in Texas. 

What is the Difference Between Collaborative Divorce and Mediation? 

Mediation is a process wherein a neutral, trained third-party mediator helps spouses resolve conflict. Spouses still have attorneys, who often join spouses in meeting with the mediator. Attorneys are not explicitly working together, but rather are advocating for each spouse’s interests from across the aisle. 

In contrast, collaborative divorce requires spouses and their attorneys to work together in a dignified and cooperative manner to resolve marital issues outside of the courtroom. Other professionals, such as child specialists and accountants, are usually part of the team. Collaborative divorce tends to reduce conflict, which in turn benefits everyone - especially if there are children involved. 

Couples facing the prospect of divorce understandably have many questions about what the divorce process looks like and what they can expect. Well-publicized celebrity divorce trials may give the impression that divorce litigation is common and that divorcing couples should brace for the worst. 

Fortunately, reality suggests otherwise. Less than 10 percent of divorces in Texas reach the trial stage because alternative dispute resolution techniques are highly effective and encouraged by everyone, from Texas courts to divorce attorneys. Mediation and collaborative divorce give spouses much more control over important issues and make the divorce easier, faster, and less expensive. However, for that small percentage of divorces that do go to trial, spouses should know what to expect. 

What Happens in a Divorce Trial? 

Domestic violence, hidden financial assets, and one spouse’s refusal to cooperate are just a few of the reasons that a divorce might go to trial. Whatever the reason, the process is the same. The person who filed for divorce - the petitioner - must try to prove their argument with evidence and witnesses. The other spouse - the respondent - must then argue their own case. The two sides often go back and forth several times, responding to and refuting each other’s arguments.